Parenting Tips
· 18-24:
· 24-30:
· Born with Fitra - What you put in you get out - All inputs: parents and all others
o Give them TIME and ATTENTION.
o Touch, Hug, acquaintance, strong ties, nursing the full duration.
o Get them attached to you and don’t want to miss you.
o Make them feel wanted and loved and cared for.
o Bathe them change their diapers.
o Be everything for them.
o Read for them. Read with them. Tell them stories.
o Don’t belittle them. No mocking.
o Meal time. Car Time.
o Don’t let them feel neglected.
o Teach them to learn new things
o Good habits
o Respect for themselves and Respect for others
o No baby talk. Languages
o Neatness
o Accuracy and Perfection
o Sincerity
o Personality and Leadership
o Communication skills
o Critical thinking, Analysis, Logic
o References, trusted and doubted
o Right is right and wrong is wrong and how to deal with it.
o Truthfulness
Ø Discipline 7 : 7-14
o 7-10 teach them prayer. Beat them at 10
o continued education but with discipline
o emphasize the same things 0-7 on a more mature level with discipline
Ø Befriend them 7: 14-21
o Companionship, do things together, sports, entertainment, critical decisions.
o emphasize the same things 0-7 on a more mature level with friendship
Ø Then let them free
o Consultation
o emphasize the same things 0-7 on a more mature level in an advisory/mentorship role
Western Adolescence:
· 12-18: · 18-24:
· 24-30:
Islamic Adolescence:
· Ends at 15:· Born with Fitra - What you put in you get out - All inputs: parents and all others
Ali bin abi Talib
Ø 7 years of Play: 0-7
Ø 7 years of Discipline : 7-14
Ø 7 years of Friendship: 14-21
Ø Then let them free
=========================
Ø 7 years of Play: Love - educate - direct – tarbiya – tathqeef (all though play)
o Give them TIME and ATTENTION.
o Touch, Hug, acquaintance, strong ties, nursing the full duration.
o Get them attached to you and don’t want to miss you.
o Make them feel wanted and loved and cared for.
o Bathe them change their diapers.
o Be everything for them.
o Read for them. Read with them. Tell them stories.
o Don’t belittle them. No mocking.
o Meal time. Car Time.
o Don’t let them feel neglected.
o Teach them to learn new things
o Good habits
o Respect for themselves and Respect for others
o No baby talk. Languages
o Neatness
o Accuracy and Perfection
o Sincerity
o Personality and Leadership
o Communication skills
o Critical thinking, Analysis, Logic
o References, trusted and doubted
o Right is right and wrong is wrong and how to deal with it.
o Truthfulness
o 7-10 teach them prayer. Beat them at 10
o continued education but with discipline
o emphasize the same things 0-7 on a more mature level with discipline
o Companionship, do things together, sports, entertainment, critical decisions.
o emphasize the same things 0-7 on a more mature level with friendship
Ø Then let them free
o Consultation
o emphasize the same things 0-7 on a more mature level in an advisory/mentorship role
Prevention is better than restoration through cure.
If you miss any of the above, then treatment is in order. Inhiraf that requires 3elaj.
Treatment:
Ø Fahm
o From child’s point of view
o Every one is different
o Don’t compare and don’t declare that comparisons
o Establish expectations based on your desires
Ø Hubb
o Touch
o Words
o Action
o Attention
Ø Istima3
o Talk
o Discuss
o Share secrets
o Stories of their childhood
o Stories of family
o Politics, economy, social issues
o (I2zinly belzina yarasoolallah. Edno. Atuhibbuhu le Ummak)
o At meal time
o At bed time
o At wake up time
Ø Thiqah
o Give them responsibilities
o Give them assignments – prepare for the family outing
o Depend on them
o Projects
o Cook, clean, go to the bank
o Push the buttons in the elevator
o Engage them in decision making
o Learn from mistakes – help them with the analysis
Ø Iftikhar
o Be proud of them in their own ways and achievements
o Every one has positives and negatives. Mention the positives
o Make them feel the importance of their positives this may help them overcome the negatives
Ø Rehabilitation – Treat problems
o Go to specialists (Muslim)
Ø Companions - Khalil
o Be the best Khalil for your kids
o Be the model for your children and be careful from the competition:
o Barbie
o Sponge Bob
o The Terminator
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